A Conference for the People,
by the People and At the People
By Peter Block
Large conferences
where hundreds of people come together for
a few days are important. They are a public way of affirming a set of
beliefs. They give us the experience of being part of a larger community
and they remind us that we are not alone in the work that we do. When
the large conference begins to disappear, it is worth worrying about.
If you have recently
attended a professional conference on management, quality improvement or
one dealing with the well being of employees, you will have noticed it
is getting to be a rather lonely experience. Attendance at people
centered conferences is on the decline, while attendance at conferences
on speed, technology, money and entrepreneurship are humming along.
Does this say
something about modern times? Some say people are too busy or the cost
of attending is too much for austere times, and that is why they are
shrinking. I don't believe this. More likely we have begun to feel there
is nothing new to learn. Or the hope these conferences once offered is
fading. We have already heard most of the keynote speakers; Tom, Colin,
Scott, Robert, Rosabeth, me and the like. We have tried most of the new
ideas; Teams, Alternative Pay, Re and De Engineering, Empowerment,
Learning Organizations and the like.
Perhaps we need a
new approach to revitalize the experience of large numbers of people
coming together to affirm the importance of people. So, before we
surrender to the fact that speed, technology, wealth and
be-your-own-boss own the conference marketplace, I would like to make
one more stab at a people-centered meeting.
Returning Cynicism
to its Rightful Dignity
I suggest we offer a conference for people who have tried everything and
are disappointed. Instead of trying to overcome disappointment, let's
embrace it. Let's listen to the music of the night.
Repeated
disappointment breeds cynicism and why fight it. Let's bring cynicism
out of the hallways, bars and cafeterias and into the open. When did
cynicism get such a bad rap. It remains widespread, it is fun, and needs
little explanation. Here are some thoughts on the purpose and design of
what could be a truly innovative conference.
A National
Conference on Disappointment and the Impossibility of Change
Title. We
need to start with a catchy title. Something that grabs our attention
and promises what we can deliver. Some possibilities:
"What's the Point?"
"Nothing Lasts"
"People: High
Cost/High Maintenance Resource of Last Resort."
"Cynicism: A Viable Philosophical Stance for the New Millenium
Keynote
Speakers: Plenary sessions could include: Woody Allen, George
Carlin, Chainsaw Al Bradshaw, and William Bennett. Each thinks there is
something seriously wrong with our culture and institutions and offer no
solutions other than trying harder, which in itself is an action plan
with little hope for success.
Case
Study: Dilbert: Tomorrow's Role Model Executive
Come and hear the
story of Dilbert's rise to corporate giant. He now runs a $300,000,000
corporation. Learn of the crisis this must this present now that Dilbert
has become top management. Learn about how he holds meetings, appraises
performance, requires duplicate signatures for purchases over a certain
amount. How he communicates with employees, and most of all, who he
blames now.
Workshops
Some of the early proposals for presentations include:
Why employees are sick of taking responsibility. Let's stop treating
people as if they are the problem, need the training and have to be
enrolled, induced and led into a new tomorrow. Enough already. Employees
don't need to change, management doesn't need to change. Why aren't they
good enough the way they are.
Executive Education:
High Cost Training with No Accountability. High potential managers spend
weeks at expensive university education programs. Companies are spending
millions of dollars to train the top 5 percent of their executives. No
one asks to measure the bottom-line effect of these investments. What is
going on here? America wants to know.
What You Can Not
Measure Does Not Exist. It is time to finish this subject once and for
all. Measurement is the basis of science and is essential for most of
the advances of modern society. Let's declare it King and stop harboring
soft-minded hopes for a peaceable kingdom. The lion is not going to lie
down with the lamb.
Job Elimination as
the Key to Successful Mergers. Mergers and acquisitions
are financed through job consolidation. This workshop details the
process and gives hints on how to best position your self to be the
diner instead of the meal.
Using Technology to
Maximize Personal Wealth and Minimize Personal Responsibility. This is
one of our most popular workshops. Tips on low cost, fast growth,
internet businesses. Ways of using e-mail to avoid unpleasant
conversations, techniques on how to avoid wasted face time.
Golf: The
Relationship Landscape of the New Millenium. Learn how to relate on the
golf course. The game separates the haves and the have nots. It has
infinite rules and is impossible to learn quickly. It takes a lot of
time, can be played alone or happily with strangers and encourages rule
bending. Plus it has a wonderful social invention called a mulligan.
This means if you do not like your shot, you try it again. Also, in what
other sport does someone follow you around in a little wagon filled with
beer, bourbon and cigarettes to be enjoyed during play. Heaven.
Who Should Attend
and Cost
This conference is for disappointed people. For those of us who are
weary of sustaining optimism in the face of harsh reality. Discussions
of soul, spirit, meaning or purpose will be discouraged.
This experience is
primarily aimed at individuals who agree to take nothing useful back to
the job. In fact there will be two prices: a $300 fee for those who
expect to develop no new skills and are willing to keep thinking inside
the box. The fee is $1500 if you insist on new skills, insights and
immediately applicable tools. Plus, if you come as a team, there is an
additional 15 percent charge.
This will be the
first conference in history that does not lie to you about
transformational benefits in order to get you to attend.
Conference Design
One of the most attractive features of the conference design is that
there will be few chances for interaction with other attendees. The
presentations will be quick, to the point, wasting little time on small
group discussion. The conference presenters have agreed to do no role
playing, no simulations, no vague open ended small group discussions.
You will not be asked to list the characteristics of a good leader, team
member, nor will you be asked to recall any peak experiences you might
have had or to articulate a vision.
All lectures will be
accompanied by handouts covering all points. Tapes will be prerecorded
for all sessions and are included in the cost of attending. All
presenters have been selected for their seriousness, and will been
screened to eliminate any undue idealism, hope or shallow greeting card
optimism.
Setting and Location
The physical setting will be dark with classroom-style seating. The
rooms will be designed for easy in and out movement. All seats will be
near the door. No seats will be in the front of the room. Each session
will begin a little late and end a little early to eliminate obsessive
timeliness that can easily interfere with learning.
Get Involved
These ideas may seem slightly cynical and a little beyond the edge, but
don't be quick to judge. Cynicism is an expression of our lost idealism.
It confronts our beliefs and questions whether the conventional wisdom
about organizational change of the last fifteen years still serves us.
Our beliefs in vision, skills, enrollment, teams, rewards, tools have
served us well, but in today's world seem to be wearing out. We need
something bolder to bring care for relationships and the person back
into the forefront of our consciousness.
Perhaps if we came
together, looked hard at the limitations of our current wisdom, it would
be worth the trip. Would you come to a conference like this? Which price
plan would you prefer? Please send me your thoughts. We can do this
whole thing electronically. I remain your loyal, visionary,
results-oriented, role-modeling servant columnist.
This
article appeared in
News for a Change published by AQP in September 1999
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