WWW
By Peter Block Dear
Mom and Dad,
It has been a while since we
interfaced. I tried to call you the other night but your answering
machine said you were eager to receive my call, but were busy serving
other callers. I was too impatient to wait, so I decided to
contact you online as the machine suggested.
My new job at Cleanstreets.com is going
well. I just received a bonus for staying, even though I have
only been here for two weeks. I guess they have a small retention
problem. The work is exciting. It turns out that I was on a
teleconference with cousin John the other day. It was a good
meeting, though the speech of John and others in the meeting seemed a
little off and disjointed. The voice seemed to arrive slightly
after his lips moved. Is he ok? His movements seemed a
little jerky.
The big news is about my personal life.
I have met a wonderful woman on the Internet. We have been dating
over the Internet for a week now and have decided to get married.
The wedding will be online next Wednesday. We want to have a global
wedding and have sent invitations to 65,000 people, in addition to
immediate friends and family. We are renting targeted mailing lists of
people around the world who share our demographics of age (born after
1969), buying patterns, music and book preferences and favorite travel
destinations.
As to wedding gifts, we want nothing
for our home, since we have not decided where we will be living
together. Instead we have registered our gift preferences with
Stock.com, a brokerage firm specializing in instant returns. We
are hoping to leverage the love and generosity of our friends into
long-term financial security.
After the wedding we are planning
a virtual honeymoon. Since we are both too busy to leave town, we
have reserved a Website for a day and are going to cyber-travel to
either a sweat lodge on the floor of Death Valley or a base camp on the
south ridge of Mount Everest. Aren't the choices open to young
people these days amazing?
You will be happy to know that we have
decided to have two children. Our first child will be a girl, 5'
9" tall, with delicate features, dark brown hair, SAT scores in the
1400's and skilled in the martial arts. We plan to have her
delivered when she is seven years old. By then we will have the
maturity and time for her, plus we want to really get to know her before
she goes to college.
Our second child will undoubtedly be a
boy, but we plan to wait a while, although we are leaning towards him
having a special aptitude for science and technology.
I guess you are wondering about who the
lucky women is? Well her name is Zooeta. We have not
actually met yet, but have not felt the need. We have exchanged
digital pictures and she looks amazingly like a youthful Elizabeth
Taylor. I am not sure where she lives, she has been charmingly coy
about that. Her area code is 900, do either of you know where that
is?
Not much else is new. My health
is good. I stay in shape by watching an exercise video to start
the day and then power walking to my office downstairs. I have
converted the dining and living room into a Technical Information
Center. The signature piece of furniture is a 70" high definition,
liquid crystal, slim-line television screen. It is fully supported
by the usual array of computers and electronics all within easy reach of
my custom molded Eon ergonomic high-performance work and sleep chair,
the details of which I won't bore you with.
I have to run now. My dinner of
pine nut encrusted Upper Yellow River Salmon, flavored with a touch of
cilantro, finished with a dollop of Chilean demi-glaze, presented over a
bed of saffron risotto is being delivered in three minutes. I plan
to accompany the meal with a 1996 St. Jean Michel cabernet sauvignon.
Where is it written that you have to have white wine with fish? Really!
I almost forgot to ask: How are you
both doing? Is the trailer park turning out to be all you expected
it to be? I have been told that after a while you get used to the
highway noise. I think your decision to simplify your lives is
really cool.
Give me a ring when you get a chance.
The best time to reach me is between 3:30 and 4:00 am on Tuesdays and
Wednesdays when the call volume is typically light.
Yours Truly,
Storm
This
article appeared in
News for a Change published by AQP in July 2000
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